Do you long for the love relationship you and your partner once had?

Discover how marriage counselling can help you get that thrill of closeness and love back again.

Your love relationship is supposed to be the most satisfying relationship in the world. But instead, it may have become the most painful. Somehow your relationship got off track and you likely can’t figure out how or why. Or perhaps you know what has gone wrong, but can’t seem to find a way to get the love back. You might be telling yourself “it never used to be this way. What are we doing wrong? When is it ever going to feel good again?”

The distance between you and your partner seems to keep growing. You feel disconnected, like you hardly even know each other anymore. Physical and sexual closeness may be non-existent. Perhaps you find that you are stuck in chronic conflict or have resorted to withdrawing from your partner as you don’t know what else to do.

You may feel:

• taken for granted – like your partner doesn’t appreciate you anymore
• frustrated because your partner doesn’t seem to understand what you’re doing or saying – sometimes it’s like you’re talking to a brick wall
• blamed and criticized – nothing you do anymore seems good enough
• more lonely in your relationship than if you were all alone
• exhausted by the ongoing conflict that never seems resolved
• Hurt and betrayed because your partner has had an affair

You may feel like you are on a merry-go-round,
cycling through the same tiring issues over and over again without any hope for change.

Some days, you may feel confused and like you just “can’t continue on like this.” Instead of having a healthy conversation, your frustration and anger get the best of you and you either lash out or withdraw from your partner in hurtful ways. Other days, you might wake up feeling hopeless, wondering if you should just end the relationship because the pain is so great.

Your love relationship problems may feel hopeless right now, but it doesn’t have to continue this way.

I can help you get the love back into your love relationship. Through marriage counselling, together you can learn to unlock the secrets of real communication and love. You can find clarity and new solutions for the problems that now seem unsolvable. You can begin to feel appreciated and understood by your partner, just like you did when you first met! You can feel more connected to your loved one than you ever have.

Client Testimonial Before I started counselling with Kim I was lonely in my relationship with my husband, unable to give of myself, and unable to commit to my marriage emotionally and sexually. I felt like I was “a nobody” and that my husband didn’t care about me. I felt distant from him. It was like we couldn’t talk about important matters like the past, our relationship, and sex. I just hoped things would eventually get better on their own. But things grew worse and worse and I ended up having more than one affair. By this time I felt I had no right to a good marriage. Before I met Kim my self-esteem and sense of self-worth were at an all-time low. I felt like a second-rate person, not worthy enough to be loved by my husband. I felt like a phony. I never wanted people to find out who the “real me” was; I felt ashamed of who I really was and “different” from everyone else who seemed so together. During counselling with Kim, I began to understand that there were many childhood issues that were negatively affecting my marriage. I began to feel relief from overwhelming guilt and for the first time began to forgive myself. It was difficult for me to talk about very private issues but Kim provided a safe and comfortable place for me. She was kind and honest with me, forthright, and never judged my inner thoughts, feelings, and actions. Today I feel like a different person on the inside, like “a somebody.” I can hug myself now, I’m loveable and have worth. I feel like I’m the most important person in the world to my husband. Like never before I feel connected and close to him. We are a loving couple again. I believe my marriage has gone to another level. My husband and I are able to talk about all sorts of things now, things that we never could talk about before counselling. There is a new depth and reality to our conversation. It was a real revelation for me to discover that I really do love my husband (of 30 years) and he really does love me! We are closer now than we ever have been. He’s my best friend. I highly recommend Kim as a marriage counsellor. Jessica, teacher assistant, age 49

I work with you to help develop practical skills that will show you how to communicate in ways you never thought possible.

Marriage counselling with me can help you and your partner to:

• express what you really need, feel, and want in positive uplifting ways
• feel heard, understood, and loved by one another
• appreciate one another
• express your hurts, disappointments, and anger in a healthy manner
• communicate with respect so that you both feel cared for
• resolve conflict in ways where you can both get your needs met

Colleague Testimonial Kim has clearly and decisively shown herself to be a skilled clinician who combines both warmth, sincerity and interpersonal skill with energy, initiative and patience. She also has sound theoretical knowledge and wisdom gained from her own experiences in life. She demonstrates patience and compassion very clearly along with an ardent desire to assist her clients as they come to grips with the issues at hand. F. Vaness, Registered Psychologist, Surrey, B.C.

I am a trained counsellor in couples and marriage counselling and am passionate about helping couples develop healthy loving relationships. I love to see the spark of new life come into relationships that are cold and distant. I will invest the energy and skill required to help you and your partner create the relationship you’ve always wanted.

Over the past 25 years, I have learned how to make my marriage succeed. Today I am more excited about my marriage than I have ever been! But it wasn’t always that way. The first ten years of my marriage were fraught with difficulty and misunderstanding. After our disagreements, I usually felt like I was the loser and my husband was the winner. I thought I had to make peace at any cost, even the cost of my own sense of self. Today, when I communicate with my husband, I am able to maintain a sense of self-respect and dignity. Our communication is almost always a win-win interaction. In all likelihood, most everything you share with me, I will have already experienced. My own marriage journey enables me to relate to you on a personal level.

Through marriage counselling, I can help you get past those troubling issues that continue to resurface over and over again. Together, you can experience new hope, vibrancy, and closeness in your relationship like you’ve never had before.

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To get started, you can sign up for my newsletter Relationship Reflections and receive my 10 Top Guidelines for Couples: Turning Disagreements Into Win-Win Solutions. Many couples begin their journey toward a healthy relationship by putting these simple guidelines into practice.

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Please call me for a complimentary phone conversation at 604.728.3233. We can discuss how you and your partner would like to get started on the road toward a happier relationship and how I might be able to help you in that process.

For more information, please go to my couples and marriage counselling services page.